“Betul dia masih single tapikan dia ramai peminat tau..”

That’s what my close friend told me when I asked about someone.

When she said “single” I was very relieved at least he’s not yet taken/attached but when she continued “dia ramai peminat” i was having the worst emotion. My world is crashing down on me. My high hope destroyed completely.

I always think he’s the best. I always have high hope and dream to be with him. We used to be very close to each other but as years goes by we’re getting further and further from each other. I’m always thinking of him even though im out with other friends.

Hmmmm…“ramai peminat” meaning there’ slot of people who admire him and wants to be with him. I’m one of them too but it looks like I can’t strive for it. He’s completely good, nice and everything. I’m sure his “peminat” are far much better compared to me. His peminat might be his cup of tea, someone more suitable and compatible to be with him. Unlike me, I’m just an average girl who I think he will never consider someone like me, I guess im just a little peanut compared to almond, cashew or pistachios.

Sometimes the things that you really want all this while you can have it. The kind of feeling that I have for him is simply very unique. It’s my fault too, I used to have the chance but I ruined it. At that moment im so naïve. There’s no use crying over spilled milk. But its not the end of the world, we can still try to make it right. I know I have a lot of competitor Insya ALLAH I can make it.

Now, my senjata will always continue with my duaa and istikharah. May ALLAH show me what is good for me. Tak banyak yang aku minta hanya seseorang yang lebih mendekatkan dirinya pada ALLAH, boleh mendidik, menegur dan menasihati I ilmu ugama- jalan yang baik, jujur, ikhlas dalam apa jua yang dilakukan dan menerima diri ku seadanya. Cukuplah. Itu lah doa setiap dalam sujud akhir istikharah ku.

But if he’s not meant for me, I will always redha dengan ketentuanya. I will always keep on going no matter what.

“Wanita-wanita yang keji adalah untuk laki-laki yang keji, dan laki-laki yang keji adalah buat wanita-wanita yang keji (pula), dan wanita-wanita yang baik adalah untuk laki-laki yang baik dan laki-laki yang baik adalah untuk wanita-wanita yang baik (pula)”.
(An Nuur : 26)

Bila ingin mendapatkan jodoh yang baik, maka perbaikilah diri. Hiduplah sesuai ajaran Islam dan Sunnah Nabi-Nya. Jadilah laki-laki yang sholeh, jadilah wanita yang sholehah. Semoga Allah memberikan hanya yang baik buat kita. Amin.

I shall leave my past behind. Masanya untuk lalui perjalanan dengan lebih sempurna dan bermkana. Masa silam itu juga untuk kita mengingatkan setiap langkah kita lalui harus dengan bijaksana. Good Bye PAST…Welcome PRESENT!!

"Apa yang datang kepada kita anggaplah ia ujian ALLAH..susah senang semuanya ujian dari ALLAH. Kita sebagai hambanya, dikurnikan akal, tubuh-badan dan dilimpahi nikmat. Jagalah nikmat ini, gunakan ke arah kebaikan..Insya ALLAH tuhan akan merahmatinya.

I'm so busy with work, school and house stuffs!
I was down with migrane two days ago.
Too much stuffs to think and do.
I've been sleeping early..good!

Yesterday, catch things up with the former mate; Harshad.
We had a simple dinner @ Jurong Entertainment.
We went to the Japanese Restaurant.
i'm loving it.
They serve nice yet too much for me.
It was a very very "big" dinner.

Both was happy with their own food.
Quite delicious especially the fried spinach.
Owhh! So so crispy and yummy!!

I'm so in lurve with my new cammey!
It makes my lyfe so meaningful.
We've been very close ever since secondary school.

Ohh my!! Now then I know im a FAT girl!! Im toattly fat! Eww..very disgusting!

I used to 39kg and now im 45kg!! I guess due to hormone change and of course my age! I envy tall and thin ladies out there. Wwho will eat and eat and eat but never growing side-ways or to the front. Ohh noo! Im so worried!

After lots of thinking, I know why i got that slim body many years ago because in school there is PE, NAFA Test and not forgetting Cross Country!! How I wish I can haf all that once again. I lurve PE time…coz no need to sit and concentrate!! Ohh I lurve Line Dance too! Ohh yah! ACES Day!! Hahaha. That was a very funny exercise~!!

Nowadays…I keep on eating and eating especially in cold weathers. I can eat and eat and eat! Seriously, these days I’ve not been eating healthily. I’ve been eating fast food forever, fatty stuff, sweet drinks and those oily stuffs. Ewww…I guess I’ve collected gallon of oil in my tummy. I hate it. I hate it! I want to lose weight!! I used to look nice in casual wear with those nice t-shirt and jeans! But now I look horrible in it especially skinny jeans!! Ohh my ohh my! I dun care I gonna lose weight by the end of the year!

Recently, I met a new friend, he said im fat! I felt like stabbing him to death. A guy told me off like that straight on my face! I will never forget that word!! I hate him and I refused to see him again. Never!

Mind you, im very short and fat..i think I look like a HUMPTY DUMPTY! I dun mind if im tall, at least I can choose to work in the uniform group. So Ugly Me!!

I wanna wear a nice wedding gown one day. I wanna wear that nice songket once again. I wanna wear that trendy shirt and now I have to fold my nice skirt and dump it in my wardrobe. A fatty girl wearing a skirt…ewwwwww! Ewww…very very the not nice!

The first thing that gains when I eat a lot will be my cheek. I will go chubby and chubbier! I hate people pinching my fatty cheeks, im no more a kid ok! Worst still I got a tummy and I hate it. When I sit down somewhere I can feel my tummy folded. Yucky yucky yucky!! U noe I got class 2 tire underneath my clothing.

I have lotssa meat in me, want some? I can slice it for u and grill it. Im not a guy who just dun give a damn about weight. Moreover nowadays many girls love fat guys. Most guys dislike fat girls….correct? I dun mind fat guys coz I lurve to hide behind them so nobody sees me.

Now I shall stop typing and do my 10 sets of jumping jacks! Ohh I dun mind going NS to undergo the heavy training. As long as I can shape my body and the amazing weight lost. I dun mind the hot sun. U knows behind my sweety face i am very adventurous. During OBS I carried this bag which is much much bigger and taller than me. The one behind me will only see my leg and dat enormous bag! *LOL*

Sadly, in my big family + relatives im the only one can eat and never stop and im the only one who keep growing fatter. Serious! My family are all small-build except for me!

"Believe in urself."

it's raining. nice weather huh.

lets talk something serious.
have u ever love someone very very deep?
although u got hitched with ur partner but inside ur heart u lurve someone else.
have you ever come across that kind of feelings?

hmmmm.
many years ago i was with bfyen.
but inside my heart i lurve someone else.
more truly than my bfyen.

i used to lurve this particular guy until now.
but i felt ashamed of myself to reconcile with him.
i scared the love he had for me has gone, after he knew i was with my ex-bfyen.
what if he got himself a gfyen?
what if his love towards me had fade-away..

I wanna say sorry to him and try to find a way back to his heart.
I always pray to ALLAH may we live happily ever after.
I rejected many guys just to be with him.

Ever since i broke up with my ex-bfyen i know whats the meaning of true love.
Endless love. i learn how to appreciate others and care for others feelings.
I'm truly sorry i know i've hurt u enough.
Please give me one last chance to give my love to you.
I know he's the best for me...i dun want to ask for more.
I just need him. I want him back.
Pleeeeeaaaaaassssssseeeee~!


Back to Your Heart- BSB

"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it,
But it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives."

alhamdulillah..i've bought the DSC-T200 camera!!
Its red- romantic.

I received my pay @ 2pm!!
That was amazing because i thought it will be tomorrow.
I prayed hard during zohor prayer.
Alhamdulillah..thank you ALLAH.

Battery is still charging - 8hrs!
I shall wait till 12 midnight then i can use it.
Im counting down every minutes.
Im so happy.

Eikz..i chose to suffer.

Today marks the birthdate for my reddy camera!
Happy Birthday Romantic!!
hehehehehhehehe.

No more sleepless night. im a happy girl today!!

I wanna get this DSC-T200!!!
but
It cost me a booooooooom~!!

I lurve Cyber-Shot cameey!
My previous cameey met with an accident 1 month ago!
The exterior was still looking good except the interior is badly damaged.
If i were to send it to hospital it's not worth it.
I wanna get a new cammey with a higher mega.pixel and touch-screen panel!

Erk. If i really get it this month...i have to:

- home-cook lunch everyday
- stay at home every weekends
- no monthly shopping spree
- no taxi rides

and etc etc.

Owhhhh!! Wait and save or Buy and Suffer! Hmmm..........3 days for me to think!
Another option, wait till March and request mommie or daddy for it for my b'day pressie.
Ok?

*thinking*

met bestiee @ 1445h!
i was early, i wanted to sit on the ceramic bench @ j.e MRT station.
jeng.jeng.jeng
i saw d ex bfyen! err...Jalil aka MatBatu!
i was stunned. same ol boy.
forever with his earphones on and black tee.
I stay far-far away from him.
Ohh! Then i realized he was with his bro.
Yeahh..i talked to his bro; his bro was stunned.
Few minutes later, ex-bfyen turned to his bro, he was surprised to see me.
He asked me few questions w/o any smile. I replied w/o looking at him.

When bestiee arrived i went in the train. I was looking for bestie but she's nowhere.
When i entered, a malay guy with his yellowish baju kurung was staring at me. I looked and make eye-contact, he smiled at me- of course i gave him the sweetest smile. *lol* He was reading this Fiqh book. He kept looking at me. Seriously, he's super handsome. Very boyish look, fair and very cute. ok enough! U know what? My bestiee was nowhere to be seen and i called her and told her about the cute guy and refused to alight n find her. hahahahah. I pity beStiee so much, so i forced myself to alight at commonwealth,i regretted!! Found out bestiee was at the 1st cabin while im at the last cabin!! Hahah. No wonder. Ohhh yeahh.....when im about to alight, the guy stared at me and show me that kind of looks "Aahhh...dah nak alight?!" hahaha! When im at the platform, he kept on turning to see me. I told bestiee about it....eeeeeee!! Regret-Giller!

Then we proceed as planned. Changi Airport Terminal 3!! Wwooohoooo!! Alhamdulillah someone alight at Queenstown, i sat. Next to me was an indonesian guy, his 2 friends was standing right in front of me. I offered my seat to bestiee but she refused. Then the two indonesian guy, stared at his friends and gave him signals to get up and offered Ain that seat. So sweet hor. We told him its ok, but he insisted yupp e thanked him. I shall not elaborate the rest of the story ok.

A lil funny things happened to me @ Tanah Merah station. Don't want to tell u!!
so paiseyyy. we laughed out head off. so embarrassing.

When we reached- we were so hungry. We eat @ Popeye's T3! It was so crowded! I had a pathetic Shrimp Burger while Ain ate the 2pc Chicken!! We feed one another. I know everyone is looking, heck, we're bestiee. We took pictures everywhere......so tourist-like! We went to the viewing gallery, soo nice, but i still prefer the Gallery from T1! We walked around the T3, lotsa shops just like the shopping mall. I bought flip flops at $9 because my leg hurts due to the high-heels. Very ma-fan leh!! We took the sky train to T1, i treat bestiee Coffee Bean! Belgian Choc (Ain)- Black Forest (Liyana) and Raspberry Cheesecake! We were too tired. The coach realli invites us to sleep. We walked to the MRT station and Home Sweet Home.

Pheww! For the very first time, we went out on sunday!! Usually we spent our sunday in religious class. Enjoy our fabulous pictures~~~!!!

"Some friends may ruin you, but a real friend will be more loyal than a brother."

firstly, alhamdulillah ALLAH grant our wishes and prayers.
It's a girl!! Alhamdulillah. 13 years of waiting for a girl in a family, at last we got one.
Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

We rushed home from work. Get ready and proceed to Thomson Medical, visit our new niece!
She's so girly, sweeet, soft, cute and health baby. I was so happy to see her, kiss her continuously and pamper her too much.

We're still thinking about her name. I suggested Amira (Puteri). I just hope her character and attitude is similar to the name given. Insya ALLAH.

A little girl can be sweeter (and badder) oftener than anyone else in the world. She can jitter around, and stomp, and make funny noises that frazzle your nerves, yet just when you open your mouth she stands there demure with that special look in her eyes. A girl is Innocence playing in the mud, Beauty standing on its head, and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot.

Masa berlalu, hari demi hari dengan tidak kita sedar, setiap hari dan setiap malam berlalu menjauhkan kita dari hari lahir kita dan mendekatkan kita pada hari kematian kita, hari kita meninggalkan dunia yang fana ini. Tiap muslim dan muslimat harus sentiasa mengenang nilai setiap hari dalam umurnya. Dia harus selalu mencari jalan bagi mendapat faedah daripadanya. Janganlah dia mencuaikan masa-masanya sehingga berlalu harinya dengan tidak mendapat faedah apa-apa, kerana hari yang berlalu itu, tidak akan kembali lagi. Haruslah kita berusaha untuk membuat kebajikan dan amal baik dan sentiasa membuat muhasabah terhadap umur kita masing-masing, kerana umur kita itu sebenarnya pendek. Jagalah ia, jangan sampai terbuat perkara-perkara yang tidak bermanfaat bagi hari akhirat.

Semoga di tahun yang baru ini, kita semakin berjaya melawan kekufuran.


"Demi masa, sesungguhnya manusia itu dalam kerugian, kecuali mereka yang beriman dan beramal soleh, mereka suka nasihat menasihati dengan penuh kebenaran dan penuh kesabaran." *Surah Al-Asr*

Having lotssa fun with Fuad today, again!
Met him at Ar-Rabittah Mosque since he got problem handling this 4 year old girl.
Its my first time seeing him teach "thafiz".
Errr..at first i was very shy and nervous.
Then when i came into the class, the girl was hugging her mum tightly.
She refused to read in front of Ustaz Fuad, scared.
If im in her shoe, i would tremble too. I can't read it in front of a guy!!
She read the Quran well. At 4 years old she can hafal many surah.
I wish to have a daughter like her & take her mum as my role model.

Around 4pm, we proceed as planned. We ate our dinner at J.E Pizza Hut.
Had fun and had a great laugh over my nervous-ness.
Then we walked around the "pasar malam"!
We get ourselves a key chain with our name engraved on the 3 colour tone.
(red-black-white)
Fuad, surprised me with a gift. Very cute and sweet frame. Its Pink!
Then he insisted on printing some photo of ourselves and request to slot inside the frame.
Very cute and sweet right. We fought over the photos border. Thank to him to giving in to my stubbornness!

Picture below. Sorry we can't exposed our faces due to some circumstances. Sorry for any inconvenienced caused and thank you for your understanding.

Recently, the whole relatives (not all) went to JB to attend family affair wedding.
A very quick journey but we did stop-over for a cup of tea. Luckily it was a nice weather.
Alhamdulillah the traffic went smoothly.

We reached on time. We get to meet long-time no see relatives. the big hugs and kisses all over.
Lotssa stories to tell, of course lotssa laughter. The food was just nice. The reception theme was purple. Very sweet. I loiike. Further more the groom work in s'pore so its kinda grand. The tentage occupied the whole street.

Around 2.30pm the groom arrived. Sadly there's nobody to open any "pencak". I pity the groom. I thout malaysian people are so traditional! I was so so sad. Haizzz. The bride make-up is not up to standard like s'pore. The mak andam is a gay but handsome. Realli! Just like Anuar Zain. After the "sanding" the "pengantin" throw sweets and coins for the children. Hmmm...we joined the party too. hahahah. singaporean r so kiasu! haahhahaha. very fun. i got a lot of coins. whooooaaaaaa.

I lurve the berkat, very cute. It consist of hanky, fork-spoon, kerepek, hard boiled egg. All in one paper bag. I lurve their telur pindang. sooooooooo nice. my favourite. *ummmm*

** Since my cybershot is not functioning i have to squeeze in using aunt camera.

"Cinta tidak menjanjikan sebuah rumahtangga aman damai, tetapi penerimaan & tanggungjawap adalah asas utama kebahagiaan rumahtangga. Cinta hanya sebuah keindahan perasaan. Cinta akan bertukar menjadi tanggungjawap apabila terbinanya sebuah rumahtangga."

Today, i sleep alots. good.
I wanna get rid of my eye-bag (luggage)!
Woke up late and nap in the afternoon.
whooo! i feel so fresh.

In the evening, met up with a new fren, Fuad!
A very playful, cheeky, funny boy.
We met at Raffles Place and prayed @ Moulana Mosque.
Then we played in the rain.
Coincidentally, we wore the same combination of colors.
-Red-Black-
We proceed to L.P.S for our dinner.
We talked and laugh at each other.

We ride home together.
Had lotsa fun.
He accompanied me home.
A big thankiue to him.
Such a sweet boy.

"Jika dirinya bukan untukku, redha aku dengan ketentuan mu. Ya Allah jika dia benar untukku dekatkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku "

3 days after school re-open!
tough job. my nursery just couldn't let go of their mommie n guardian.
im tired of carrying each one of them. tired of them pulling my scarfs and shirt.
im tired of listening to their "orchestra"!
I was struck with migrane on thursday and had the worst body ache.
They are the worst Nursery that i ever seen.
On top of that, they are the most cutest lil ones.

Oh yah!! Every morning daddy will send me to werk. Mommie will stand near the window grill and wave goodbye. Awww! I'm so pampered, right?

Yesterday was the first day of nite school for me.
I lost the energy to concentrate but i manage to listen attentively.
I just can't wait to get home and have a hot bath and nice rest on my bed.
I met lotssa nice friends. I'm lovin it!!
1 more year for me therefore die-die must study!

Yesterday also marked the first day i went home from school alone; by MRT. Usually for the past 4 years, bfyen will come and wait for me in front of the school and send me home. Since im single, i gotta be very very independent to walk home with my two legs. I miss those ride i had with ex bfyen.

"Hargai bila berdua, Sayangi bila bersama, Maafkan bila terluka, Rindui bila berjauhan, Fahami bila keliru, Nasihati bila terleka dan ingati bila sunyi"

tomorrow everybody will be very busy.
especially parents.
accompany their child to a new school.
everything will be brand new.

this year im taking the Nursery!
hope tomorrow will be fine.
less cry babies pleaaase!!
i shall put in my best smile tomorrow.
the best thing is they will be dismiss early!!!
wohooooooooooooo~!

to every student and teachers : WELCOME BACK!!